i listened to this podcast by Mark Conner today… and got this incredibly inspiring truth…taken from Habakkuk 2. There was so much uncertainty in the mind of Habakkuk about what will come to the future of his own people… he had questions, he had complaints.

I can relate. 

There’s a lot of uncertainty in my own life, unanswered questions…

God gives him a vision for the future… it’s clear, he writes it down.

i can’t eliminate uncertainty, but i can have clarity in the midst of uncertainty. I can’t control the uncertainty, there’s no point get frustrated and anxious; but i can be clear about what i want to do, what i want to achieve. So i act upon it at this time. 

There still is uncertainty, but I can make a decision right now to do what i know is right… There still is uncertainty, but I can be clear about God’s vision for my life. Clarity in the midst of uncertainty is possible thru God.

why am i so attached to melbourne? why am i so attached to the church? why am i so attached to the church in melbourne?
I have struggled with a great level of rejection in my life… but in melbourne, in hope christian church melbourne, i found acceptance. I was found… and I found true acceptance. Yes, there will always be people who condemn, but i find people who condemn everywhere. They are in the church and outside the church. But people who embrace broken, rejected, ugly, obnoxious, rude, rebellious, stubborn, filthy, ragged are rare.
The people i found acceptance from, people who accepted me in my iniquities, when i was burdened, when i struggled, when I failed (many times over), when i was (and still am) ungodliness, who were disappointed with me yet accepted me were not outside the church; they were in the church. which church? Hope Christian Church Melbourne. In accepting me, they mentored & inspired me to accept others and to accept myself.

i only managed to capture them soaked from pool water… youth & kids who got baptised May last yr

photo 1: Abby

photo 2: Christian

photo 4: Ben & Rebekah

… make followers for Jesus & baptise them! we seldom find a dry eye in the room when witnessing water baptisms…when we hear stories of why one wld commit to following Jesus for the rest of their lives & why they love the Lord.

next Saturday, 15th August 09’s gonna be a memorable event for 5 lives – Estelle, Ying, Sarah, Julia and Brian!!!!

Man, i remember being captured so intensely by the simplicity & significance of water baptism when teaching the kids earlier this yr – identifying with the death & resurrection of Jesus Christ, a step of obedience & a declaration of faith!!! Christianity is not just a knowing, not just a doing… but it’s a being dead to sin & alive in Christ! Few weeks ago, i taught the High School girls this same message… and i can’t help but be captured again by the power of the death & resurrection of Jesus Christ! There’s something so ‘magical’ when a baby believer who doesn’t know much, but just wants to do what is right before God and before men.

if you know Estelle, Ying, Sarah, Julia & Brian… you’re most welcome to witness their water baptism… it’ll be on 15/8/09 @ my place @ 1-3pm . email me / give me a call if you don’t know our home address.

devastated to find a hole in my jeans! only for a moment i was… i’m delighted to go jeans shopping! woot!!
ok, reminders to myself when going jeans shopping:
1. when trying on jeans…make sure it’s so tight i can just zip it up
**jeans get abt a size looser! can’t believe i’ve stuffed this one up about 3 times! and i still get it wrong!… not this time i won’t!
2. focus on the style i’m lookin’ for (ones where i can tuck into my boots) …dont’ get distracted! ** bootcuts don’t tuck into boots very well… focus on skinny-legs!*

3. u only need to buy one pair, eleanor!

4. make sure i like the color. blue!

5. go straight for the discount rack!

6. try it on with a belt

7. squat & see how low the behind gets. forget abt it if it’s an ugly look from behind! there’re lots more out there. what if a harley comes along & i get offered a ride! not a nice look from behind… think abt the harley when buying jeans.

8. make sure it lets u do a half split. what if u were given this free helicopter ride .. which requires u to climb into or smthg and i’m wearing these jeans! can’t give up the ride for the jeans!

9. go straight to sportsgirl! … if nothing appealing @ sportsgirl… hmm go home. Check out another sportsgirl branch at another time… lygon st, knox, glen, chaddy…

10. don’t buy jeans with holes in them!!! u’ve already got 2 with holes! (i love holey / ripped jeans) don’t need another pair!

3 days a week at the Department of General Practice (work) + 3 Masters of Public Health subjects this semester… man it’s looking like a very full on 12 weeks! a 1.2FTE workload!
I’m so tempted to move to the city or inner suburbs to save travel time into the CBD. But u know, mum & dad’s overseas, lil Shona (baby sister) goes to school in Wantirna South … so i guess i play the guardian / parenting role at home now. Can’t just pack up & leave for the CBD! (oh-hoy! Melbourne here i come!) *sigh* .. and of course lots more other ’strings’ attached to my very complex & interesting life!

Anyways… so this is the point… God knows every single one of our needs (& wants)… I got a call from Adora (neighbour on the same street / family friend) last night asking if she cld get a ride with me either to the station or to Melb Uni on Mondays & Tuesday mornings. I was like sure! That means i get to drive on the “T2″ (express lane that only allows cars with 2 or more passengers) on the Eastern Fwy! Just watching those cars whizzz by me on T2 each day absolutely aggravates me! Now i get to whizzs by all those 100’s (literally hundreds!) of cars! Man, i saved about 14mins travel time on the Freeway!!!! And Adora’s faculty’s just next to my parking lot. I don’t even have to get outta my way to drop her off! (We’ll have to ask our parents, but..) Some days she might even drive and i’ll just sit & catch up on my readings! How’s that for a God-sent?! woot!!

• We had Prayer Praise Party today at KFC (Kids For Christ)! First time we’ve called it ‘PPP’ but we’ve certainly have had programs that focused on praise & worship or prayer alone. Today was different from other P&W & prayer programs because this time as a team we were ready, excited & geared to allow the move of the Holy Spirit; to have times of waiting on God & allowing the children to share what God had revealed to them. Most, if not all of us do not really know what we are doing… but we’re just willing to do whatever it takes to allow a greater move of the Holy Spirit at KFC. Just willing to talk, to discuss, to try things for the first time… willing to put ourselves out there and possibly fail. Did we fail? No we didn’t fail! Today was a great start! I’m so looking fwd to see what the ‘next’ will be! Man, I love serving with a bunch of excited people! People who don’t necessarily know the answers to every question … it draws us together.
• Contending with God’s call on my life… I had to choose btwn my (temporary) want, or God’s (eternal) want. Yesterday morning, i hopped on my piano seat & started to come to Him in worship & music … I came before God & laid my case bare. Jesus’ wilderness experience (Luke 4) & testings came to mind (as i made music)…i meditated upon it. It seems to me i am put to the test – what will i choose? “Deny myself, take up my cross & follow Jesus” was the gentle whisper in my heart. I cldn’t help but ask “why again has it got to be so difficult?”. It wldn’t be a cross worth carrying if it wasn’t difficult. Now that i’ve taken up my cross… it’s time to walk with it… follow Jesus.

Perhaps it’s more than a coincidence that i wrote on ‘calling’, expressing my thoughts, desires, search and affirmation of it in my previous post. So happened Ps. Ian preached on it the next day & shared again on it at our meeting in the arvo.

Here’s a few more thoughts on embracing our call…

God makes no mistakes. Tough times… relationship issues… struggles…conflicts etc. that makes it difficult for us to serve does not change our calling. God’s wanting us to fix it rather than run away. I am where God wants me to be.

This prayer Ps. Ian prayed to seal the prophetic word (spoken in 2007) is the prayer of my heart. “…And Lord we just want to seal the Word that you have spoken strongly in her heart as she steps out more and more in obedience to You. We just pray for your blessing to abound, the strength of your Spirit to be within and Lord may her determination to live faithfully in according to Your will, may that not be shaken. May she stand strong to fulfil the call You have on her life in obedience. In Jesus Name. Amen.”

to be a leader in the House of God! I love being a leader. But when a prophetic voice says to me “You are a leader in the Church”, my whole perspective on what i do in the church takes on a whole new dimension. It’s scary! You mean there’s a reason why i like leading? If i’m called to something then I ought to like doing it, should’t I?

“you will begin to understand that “God has really graced me”, not in order to make you feel good about yourself but just to understand that you have something significant with which to serve the Lord.”

I am not a nobody. I do have something to serve the Lord!

These past few days, i’ve been listening to a recorded prophetic word given to me in 2007. Man, some of you who know me well, you’ll know that I’m in a season of “training, rooting, grounding & preparing” right now. It sure is not easy. He’s teaching me, I’m learning, and I ought to “learn my lessons well”. I am so glad God sure knows what He’s doing. Often times in my own struggle, He seems distant. Yet when i listen to these words, I know He knows what He’s doing. I am not alone. He is so intimately & intricately weaved in every fibre of my being. Here’s the prophetic word & a lesson for every person who desires to be a leader…

“… there is a time of preparation, a time of training, a time to be rooted and grounded so that when you get where you’re going, you don’t turn and say I should have done it better. God is saying He wants you to be rooted and grounded now so that when you get out there, there is no doubt about where you’re going, how you got there, who He is in your life, and the strength that you’ll have to draw from Him and Him only. Be anxious for nothing. Get to know your Father. So that you know him, so that when you do sit in that place and need to hear his voice, you’ll say “Father I need something.” He’ll say “Yes daughter. When it’s time I’ll give it”. And you’ll say “Yes Father.” Be anxious for nothing.

these profound truths this week. I’ve just been dwelling on these words…

Submission is the ability to deny one’s self, the ability to put aside one’s own interest for the sake of others. It is the freedom to forgo our rights so the rights of others can be met; other people’s dreams, other people’s plans become important to us. The real test of submission comes when we have to submit to people we don’t like. In a world where people constantly fight for their rights, it’s incredibly liberating to live in submission.

Tomorrow the girls and i are gonna look at one of the most beautiful (humbling, broken & vulnerable) passages in the Word… it’s gonna be liberating… can’t wait!

“The qualifications of a true leader are not merely physical, they are spiritual. It is not just about talent or skill but about character and relationship with God. The key character qualities of a great leader (which took years of suffering to build into Joseph) are internal, not external. They deal with knowing God, not with being great.”

~ Bill Crowder~